The Phone Call
“Hi Mom, how are you feeling?”
“Neese? What day is it?
“”It’s Sunday, Mom…remember?”
“It can’t be Sunday- I just watched Dr. Stanley yesterday…
Neese, what’s happening to me?”
I felt my heart lurch as she said those words. Since Mom’s fall last week, something is different about her. She seems confused. She sees it, too, and it is heartbreaking. She has said several times, “Neese, that was a a bad fall…a really bad fall.”
Mom has always been so sharp, her memory often better than mine, and her independence is the key to her longevity. At ninety-two, I can’t imagine what it would be like for her to lose that ability to live on her own. It is also difficult for me to see her in any other way than my strong, vibrant Mom. Maybe I just don’t want to see it, knowing I will never be ready to lose her.
What unsettled me the most yesterday was her sense of resignation. My mom is not one to give up, but throughout our visit she said the words, “It’s about time for me to check out. I’m just so tired.” My husband and I argued with her that she was going to be fine, we needed to have her with us…but she just shook her head.
I hope that this is a temporary issue caused by the fall. She was sleepwalking and woke up as she hit the floor, the front of her head taking a lot of the impact. At her age, I know that falls like this can be life-changing, even if no bones are broken.
So, for now we wait. And love…always love.