I sat in a wall of sound,
each beautiful note played around me causing pain.
Tears began to well up, and a sense of panic overwhelmed me,
What if the problem gets worse,
What if music- my career, my passion,
Becomes too painful for me to bear?
I sat in lessons with my precious students all afternoon,
Ugly orange ear plugs stuffed in my ears,
And still there was pain and ringing.
Is sound now my enemy?
The music of the birds singing to welcome the dawn,
The beautiful music of the orchestra around me,
The music singing through my clarinet,
The sound of my husband’s voice,
All things I will cherish, things I will fight to keep.
I will let go of the overwhelming feeling of panic.
It does no good to wrap myself in fear.
In its place I will focus on the positives,
Focus on healing,
And cherish every moment sitting in that beautiful wall of sound.