Mr. MacKenzie Cleans the Pipes

I am in the waiting room of what Dan and I affectionately call ‘The Butt Hut’. Sweet Dan is in for his ten-year colonoscopy, and I am waiting to ferry his groggy self for his requisite post-procedure treats: a Sonic chocolate shake (in honor of Heavy D), and a hot plate from the Publix deli. He gets whatever he wants after going through the joys of the prep. 

In our twelve years together, we have been there for each other through many surgeries and procedures- knee surgeries, shoulder surgery, ankle surgery, oral surgery, MRI’s, multiple ER visits, endoscopy, and of course, the dreaded colonoscopies. It is comforting knowing that whoever is going “under the knife” has a dedicated and loving caretaker to help us get through the scary and painful stuff- someone to fluff pillows, get blankies and treats, and make sure that at least one canine is present at all times to give furry comfort. We can get through anything together…and not just the medical adventures. Along with tons of wonderful things, we’ve faced some tough times- the loss of our mothers and my brother and sister, both of us have lost close friends, the loss of beloved pets, Dan was laid off from a wonderful job, leading to scary financial times…we have experienced a lot of life together- and there is no one that I would rather have as my partner in it all.   Knee surgery…still smiling. (By the way- Dan’s wearing an inflatable bed warmer…no breast inhancement 🙂

  Yet another ER visit for the Gaineys…

  My turn….

  Ummm…my turn again…

  Heck, even the animals have gotten in on the excitement….

Only Mr. MacKenzie could approach the prep for a colonoscopy with such good humor. When the magic hour of 3pm arrived for the real fun to begin, Dan lept to his feet, put his fist in the air and proclaimed, “Let the games begin!” I swear he will do anything to make me laugh. This morning, after a rough night with very little sleep, he came downstairs from his shower dressed and ready to go, saying, “Okay! Let’s go get a rubber hose stuffed up my butt- Whoo-hoo!” We are the only ones I have ever seen laughing in the waiting room of the Butt Hutt. Hey- these things are realities of life- you might as well see the humor in it all. 

I just met with Dr. Bluhm. Dan is good to go (I will spare you the graphic photos of Dan’s pipes that Dr. Bluhm shared with me on his report- let’s just say that I now know my husband even more intimately than ever before). I’m waiting for him to wake up enough for me to pour him into the Blue MaGoo and head to Sonic- stat. My man will be starving and ready for a day on the couch with yummy treats, puppies, and some tender loving care. I am happy to oblige- he has certainly been there for me many times. Also, I get to tease him later about the goofy things he said while coming out of sedation, and share stories of the wacky people I encountered in the waiting room. My favorite today being the older gentleman whose cell phone ringtone was someone screaming….loudly…and he let it go on and on.  Come to think of it, I may need a special treat from Sonic, too. 

Dan was adorable in the recovery room, loopy and sweet. The nurses always love him, because no matter what he’s facing, he’s good natured and trying to make them laugh. We were just glad that Nurse Rached, aka “The Fart Nazi” was not there this time. Ten years ago, she stalked the recovery room floor, threatening everyone to release gas or they wouldn’t be allowed to go home. The curtains were blowing like crazy…

So, here’s to love and friendship through thick and thin, and to good health. Life is grand…every last drop of it.  **A Heavy D-approved treat. 


4 thoughts on “Mr. MacKenzie Cleans the Pipes

    1. Paula, I had my first one last year. The prep is the worst part (ugh!). I will keep doing them- my best friend had colon cancer a few years back, and with my family’s history with cancer. I’m a believer in keeping up with the tests (but I sure don’t enjoy them :)).

  1. Thanks for sharing the info re your hubby’s biological journey. I’m due to get my 2nd colonoscopy in July and I’m already a bundle of nerves. The doc said that the ignominious Prep is much less bothersome than when I had the last one 10 years ago. Do I believe him? Not for a minute. Prep is Prep – the torture may be a different flavor of liquid to drink but I’d still rather have root canal work. I hope both of you are doing just fine and will spend lots of years free of anything GI-related. Oh, and your photos were great!

    1. Thanks for your comment- I’m with you…I’d rather have most any other procedure other than the colonoscopy. Ugh! 🙂 I hope that yours goes as well as possible and with a good report!

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