I sent my best friend, Diane, a Glide message and shared the news with her. I had gone to get the sonogram ordered by my gynecologist and found that I have a very large fibroid tumor that is pushing against things. That explains a lot of the icky stuff I have been going through for quite some time. Non-cancerous, but still worrisome. I’m fifty-four and well past any hopes of having children, so it is time to deal with the issue in a hopefully permanent way, but I’ll know more when I speak with my doctor on Monday. As only my BFF can, Diane made me see the humor in the situation…
I read her words and broke into laughter. How wonderful to have a friend who loves me so much and can help me see the humor in most any situation, something we always try to do for each other. We’ve handled some pretty major things together over our over thirty years of friendship; divorce, breast cancer, death of fathers and a mother, a parent with Alzheimer’s, career highs and lows, relationship ups and downs, broken bones, illness. No matter what, we try to help each other see the positives, the hope, in any given situation. When one of us is down, the other lifts us up. What an incredible blessing.
After finding out about ‘George’ just two days ago, I came home to find a letter from the gynecologist about my recent mammogram; it seems that I have to go back to be rechecked. Well, damn. This is very common, so nothing to get in a tizzy about, except that I am my mother’s daughter, and my mind- no matter how positive and Mary Poppins I do my best to be- always wants to go to the worst-case scenario in any given situation. Also, with my family’s strong history of cancer, these things are always extra worrisome. Again, I reached out to Diane- a recent breast cancer survivor- and told her what I knew. She immediately Facetimed me, assuring that all would be fine, that if things had been that serious, they would have brought me in immediately to see the doctor instead of waiting for the first available appointment. And- if the worst happened, we had caught things early and I was in a place with wonderful doctors here at UAB. Reality check…check.
Times like this are such a good reminder to appreciate the wonderful people and things we have in our lives. As Dan and I sat on the sun porch tonight and had a heart to heart talk about all of this, along with our dreams of the future, so many things came into focus for me. We put it out there that if anything happened to either of us that was life-threatening, we would quickly close up shop and move to the coast of Mexico, our retirement dream. Dan said that we would go and “enjoy the hell out of whatever time we had left together.” He helps me to see the big picture, to not obsess about the “what ifs”. No matter what should happen whenever, I am so very grateful for my life and all of the wonderful gifts it has brought to me.
So for now, I will worry about my upcoming concerts if I feel the need to worry. I have great doctors, a loving husband, students and a job I love, and wonderful friends who keep me balanced and anchored in reality. I am loved a great deal, I have absolutely no doubt. No matter what, George and I are in very good hands.